© 2015 The Wired Word
www.thewiredword.com
On May 19, the tabloid In Touch Weekly published an article stating
that Josh Duggar, 27, the oldest child of the Duggar family, stars of TLC's
popular reality TV show 19 Kids and Counting, was the subject of an
investigation into allegations that he molested multiple girls as a teenager.
Josh has since acknowledged his guilt."Twelve years ago, as a young teenager I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret," Josh Duggar wrote in a statement on the Duggar Family website.
The initial report did not identify the victims, but subsequent news says that four of the girls were Josh's sisters. A fifth victim may have been a cousin.
This news seems especially at odds with the pure lifestyle the family touts on their show, a lifestyle based on their interpretation of the Christian faith.
Josh has since resigned his position as executive director of the Family Research Council's lobbying arm, and TLC has pulled reruns of the Duggars' show off the air. Although there have been calls to cancel the show altogether, TLC has not yet said whether a new season of 19 Kids and Counting will be broadcast.
Besides the news reports of this story, many bloggers and columnists have weighed in, along with friends and relatives of the Duggars, and even one politician, Mike Huckabee, who is also a Baptist minister.
"Josh's actions when he was an underage teen are, as he described them himself, 'inexcusable,' but that doesn't mean 'unforgivable,'" Huckabee said. "He and his family dealt with it and were honest and open about it with the victims and the authorities. No purpose whatsoever is served by those who are now trying to discredit Josh or his family by sensationalizing the story."
But it has been sensationalized, with some bloggers and others almost gleeful in pointing out the hypocrisy between the family's wait-until-marriage philosophy toward any kind of sexual behavior and the failing of the family's oldest offspring.
Other observers have criticized the family's decision to deal with the incidents without involving the police. Josh's parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, did share the information with church elders and sent Josh to what they described as a treatment program, though others have said it was little more than helping an acquaintance with a remodeling project. The parents also saw that the victims received counseling. But many observers argue that every incident of sexual abuse should be reported to the authorities immediately, even when the perpetrator is a minor. (See, for example, the Patheos article in the links below.)
Additionally, Jim Bob arranged to have a friend who was an Arkansas state trooper have a "stern" talk with Josh. That trooper did not report Josh's wrongdoings, and after three years, the statute of limitations passed for any charges to be filed. Ironically, that trooper is now serving a 56-year prison sentence in an Arkansas prison for child pornography offenses.
One blog we at The Wired Word noticed is written by Timothy Swanson, a lawyer in Bakersfield, California. Pertinent to the Duggar story, he says that he spent part of his youth in the religious group to which the Duggars belong and which they promote on their show, but he doesn't indicate any current religious affiliation. He also says, "As an attorney, I have handled several cases involving fundamentalist families with sexual issues, and the facts [of the Duggar case] seem very familiar." He goes on to argue that the kind of sexual suppression taught by this brand of Christianity makes young people ripe to violate sexual mores.
While we are not attacking fundamentalist Christianity, we do think there is useful material in Swanson's blog (see the "Autodidact" link in the list below), and we mention two of his points:
1) The teaching that there are no acceptable outlets for sexual feelings until marriage and the obsession with sexual purity before marriage can lead to sexual dysfunction. In some cases, "the lack of healthy sexual views leads to a really messed up response to puberty and acting out in harmful ways toward others," Swanson said.
2) A sexual act at age 14 against another underage person does not necessarily mean that the perpetrator is a predator. Swanson wrote, "A true pedophile is attracted to children because they are children. The very age is the source of the attraction." He added that pedophiles "are not really 'curable' in any true sense. They absolutely must be kept away from children, with no exceptions." He then said, "In comparison to true pedophiles, there are others who might very well be attracted to sexually mature persons, but who take what is available, so to speak. For example, two kids who 'play doctor' are unlikely to be pedophiles, even if they are experimenting with another young child. It is more likely than not that they will function sexually with adults when they grow up."
Josh Duggar is married and has three children, with a fourth on the way. His wife says that Josh told her two years before their marriage about his offenses as a teenager. As far as has been reported, Josh has committed no further acts of sexual molestation.
More on this story can be found at these links:
A Timeline of the Molestation Allegations Against Josh Duggar. Washington Post
Duggar Family Statements. The Duggar Family website
The Duggars: How Fundamentalism's Teachings on Sexuality Create Predatory Behavior. Diary of an Autodidact
What You Need to Know About the Josh Duggar Police Report. Patheos
The Big Questions
1. When should serious sexual misbehavior by an underage family member be reported to the authorities as opposed to being handled "in house"? Would you have a different response if the perpetrator were your own child? if the victim were your own child? if, as seems to be the case in the Duggar family, both the perpetrator and the victims were your children?
2. Is every act of sexual misbehavior involving an underage victim a case of phedophilia? If the offender is also underage, is that offender necessarily a pedophile? If there is a difference, how can we tell?
3. What does your church teach its young people, if anything, to help them deal with their sex drive, which usually kicks into gear during puberty, years before they are ready for marriage? What potential problems might be triggered by teaching only "do nothing sexual" before marriage?
4. What should local church leaders do when they become aware of sexual misconduct by a member against an underage victim that has not otherwise been reported to the authorities? Should there be any difference in their action if the offender is also underage? Answer this question from both a legal standpoint and a moral one.
5. What does your church do to keep the children in its programs safe from abuse? Do you consider those measures sufficient? Why or why not?
Confronting the News With Scripture and Hope
Here are some Bible verses to guide your discussion:
2 Samuel 13:2
Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. (For context, read 13:1-22.)
This verse is one of the opening lines of the biblical account of Amnon, who was King David's firstborn son, raping his half-sister Tamar. This act had serious repercussions, not least of which was that Tamar was devastated (see vv. 19-20). And eventually, Tamar's full brother, Absalom, also David's son, had Amnon murdered in revenge (2 Samuel 13:23-29).
This story is not a perfect match to the Josh Duggar story, largely because both Amnon and Tamar were probably young adults, not children, at the time of the rape (although "young adult" in that culture began in the early teens -- not long after puberty). It's also not a perfect fit because, unlike Jim Bob Duggar, King David did nothing at all about Amnon's wrongdoing because, says the biblical narrator "he loved [Amnon], for he was his firstborn" (v. 21). That David did nothing to remove the shame and despair Absalom's sister felt may have been part of the reason that Absalom later led an unsuccessful revolt against his father, one that ended in Absalom's death and with David grieving.
But read the context and see how the rape damaged Tamar. Read the larger story and see how it wreaked havoc on David's family. It all reminds us why sexual offenses should not be ignored, and why, in some way, perpetrators must be held accountable and victims must receive support, counseling and help.
Questions: In your opinion, did Josh's parents do enough to deal with his wrongdoing? Why or why not? If you were their friends, what would you have told them? If you were the parents of a victim, what would you have told them to do? Would you have reported them, secretly or openly? Would you have moved to another church?
Luke 2:46, 48-49
After three days [Joseph and Mary] found [Jesus] in the temple, ... and his mother said to him, "Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety." He said to them, "Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?" (For context, read 2:41-51.)
This story raises the matter of what the age of accountability is in the legal/civic sense. TWW team member Frank Ramirez says, "For Jesus it was probably 13. That's why he gets a pass [at age 12] for having really pulled a raw one on his parents when he stays in Jerusalem without telling them. That's what kids do."
Questions: What do you think the age of accountability should be? Why? Should it be the same for every child? What do you think your age of accountability was? When did you have an adult understanding of right and wrong? To what extent are children accountable?
Luke 15:20-22
So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son." But the father said to his slaves, "Quickly, bring out a robe -- the best one -- and put it on him ..." (For context, read 15:11-32.)
It might be said that the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son bypassed the "law enforcement" of the day in how he handled his son's return. He could have let the community deal with the young man for shaming him, but he handled it in his own private, merciful way.
Questions: How do you decide, when dealing with family members, which offenses merit private mercy and which ones should be dealt with by authorities? Under what conditions do parents have responsibility for correcting their children, and under what conditions do outsiders (e.g., governmental authorities) have the responsibility?
It can be easy to say, "Your kid should have been arrested but my kid deserves a second chance and we don't want him/her to have a criminal record," but when do we have to let our head overrule our heart?
Ephesians 6:4
And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (For context, read 6:1-4.)
Few Christians would argue against Paul's instruction here for fathers (and we would include mothers as well) to bring their children up "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." But what is meant by "discipline" here? One meaning that no doubt applies is "correction," which can, of course, include punishment for wrongdoing. But another meaning is "applying self-control."
It's important for young people to learn self-control in terms of their normal sex drive, but if kids are taught that self-control means suppressing everything sexual, they can end up feeling guilty for having lustful thoughts, having sexual fantasies or masturbating. In some cases, Christian kids rush into marriage before they're ready in other ways so as to have a "non-sinful" outlet for their sex drive. Some manage to suppress their sex drive prior to the wedding, but then have difficulty functioning sexually once married.
Questions: Can masturbating actually be a self-control measure? How about helping young people to feel free to talk with their parents about their sexual feelings without being shamed?
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. (For context, read 4:7-11.)
TWW team member Jim Berger comments: "Yes, love covers a multitude of sins. But it does not set aside criminal culpability. Sexual assault is a felony, not a peccadillo."
Questions: When does covering a multitude of sins become a cover-up? What's the difference between covering and covering up? When does the covering itself become sinful?
For Further Discussion
1. Which sins do we allow ourselves? Why? Does allowing ourselves certain sins mean that we consider living a sinless life an impossible goal?
2. Might God be using the Duggars and their national platform to cast light on the problems of hidden molestations? If so, might God also be casting a light on our concept of mercy and forgiveness?
3. Respond to this, from a team member: "This desire to fix things in-house is uncomfortably reminiscent of what churches do, whether it's pedophile clergy or individuals who steal large sums of cash from churches because they're in a position of trust with no checks and balances."
4. Comment on this, from TWW team member Joanna Loucky-Ramsey: "This news brings to mind the question of why those in authority in the church might focus on 'mercy and grace' or 'forgiveness' themes when misbehavior, crimes or sins are brought to their attention. Who or what is foremost in their minds? Who merits protection? Is it the perpetrator? the victim? the body? the church leaders? Why do we want to keep things quiet? Is it really to protect the victims? Or are we deceiving ourselves when we really are trying to protect ourselves?"
5. Discuss this, from TWW team member Mary Sells: "I think one of the biggest challenges as Christians is to forgive, which doesn't equal condoning the sin; rather it is freeing oneself to let God work within the sinner. In the case of the Duggars, it seems like they followed biblical protocol, but intentionally (perhaps) skirted the legal process to try to bury the potential scandal. There can be many reasons: fame and fortune are jeopardized for sure; Josh's chance to be a productive adult; our certain outrage at molestation, especially of minors; etc. All of those are judgments and may or may not be right, yet one can only suppose at the whole truth. How will God choose to address this with the Duggars? We already see some of how society responds."
Responding to the News
This is a good time to review, and if necessary change, what we teach our children about dealing with their sex drive. It is also a time to make sure we as congregations have sound policies in place to keep the children in our care safe and free from predators.
Closing Prayer
No comments:
Post a Comment