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If you're eating at Mary's Gourmet Diner in Winston-Salem, North Carolina,
and you bow your head before digging into your food, you might get a 15 percent
reduction on the price of your meal.The restaurant has been quietly giving what they call the "praying in public" discount at random for four years, but the practice just gathered widespread notice after an appreciative customer, Jordan Smith, shared on her Facebook page a photo of her receipt showing the discount. Others soon re-posted the photo, and the story made national news last week.
Smith explained that she was in Winston-Salem on a business trip and stopped at Mary's Diner for breakfast with two colleagues. The trio, who didn't know about the discount, paused for prayer before eating. After the meal, the waitress said, "Just so you know, we gave you a 15 percent discount for praying."
While the news about the diner's practice brought praise and expressions of appreciation from some who heard it, it also became a feeding ground for critics who speculated online about whether one could pray to a Wiccan goddess or say a Muslim prayer and still receive the reduced price. Others complained that the practice was discriminatory, unfair to atheists or even illegal. More than one critic argued that praying in public misses the point of Matthew 6:5 -- "And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others."
Mary Haglund, owner of the diner, commented on all of this on the restaurant's Facebook page, as follows:
"There's a lot of craziness going on in regard to the 15% discount. I will not respond to all the posts. I will say that it is not a 'policy.' it's a gift we give at random to customers who take a moment before their meal. This could be prayer or just a moment to breathe & push the busyness of the world away. Who you talk to or meditate on etc. is your business. I have lived in a 3rd world country[;] there are people starving. We live in a country with an abundance of beautiful food. I NEVER take that for granted. It warms my heart to see people with an attitude of gratitude. Prayer, meditation or just breathing while being grateful opens the heart chakra. It's good for everyone!!!! Thanks to my local community for your support ... you know who I am. As for all the people posting negative comments about me & my restaurant who have never met me or been to the restaurant, thanks for sharing, it's your right to speak out, just as it is mine. Peace, love & happy eating!!!!"
In sharp contrast to the practice at Mary's Gourmet Diner, a shopping mall in Dublin, Georgia, recently forbade a group of women from praying in the mall, even though they were doing so quietly. The women, who walk in the mall for fitness purposes, had formed a small prayer circle prior to having a power walk. Before they could begin their prayer, a security guard stopped them, telling them that praying in the mall was against policy. He explained that they'd had a problem with a religious group that was trying to proselytize shoppers.
Even though the women said they weren't trying to convert anyone and that their prayer was only audible within the circle, the guard would not let them proceed. The women sought out a mall manager, but he backed the guard's action. And when the women asked if people in the food court could bow their heads and pray before eating, the manager said that was not allowed either.
When the story was being prepared to run in news media, a reporter asked the mall management to comment on the incident, but the management declined to do so.
More on these stories can be found at these links:
North Carolina Restaurant Offers a 15 Percent Discount to Pray in Public. Fox News
This Diner Gives 15% Off If You Pray Over Your Meal. HLN
Mary's Gourmet Diner. Facebook
Women Ordered to Stop Praying Inside Mall. Fox News
The Big Questions
1. Since praying over meals is nowhere commanded in Scripture, should Christians consider doing so an obligation? Why or why not? Do you consider it an obligation? Do you say grace at home? At restaurants? At the homes of others, whether they offer prayer or not?
2. What are some reasons to pray before meals? What are some reasons you may choose not to?
3. Is there any problem with bowing your head in public in hope of receiving a reduction on your meal price? If so, what problem? If not, why not? Would you bow your head if you knew there was a chance of getting a discount? Would you deliberately not pray in public in such a circumstance? What criteria do you use regarding praying in public places?
4. Can giving the discount be a form of Christian witness on the part of the diner's owner? If so, what might be the message behind such a witness?
5. Should people who don't pray before eating at Mary's Diner feel they are being treated unjustly or inappropriately? Should the restaurant owner take their feelings into account? Why or why not? Would you feel you were treated unjustly if someone gave discounts to parents with babies? To senior citizens? To members of the military? To parents who bring children with disabilities? If you are opposed to any of these types of different treatment, do you advocate making such things illegal?
Confronting the News With Scripture and Hope
Here are some Bible verses to guide your discussion:
Matthew 26:26
While they were eating, Jesus took a loaf of bread, and after blessing it he broke it, gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is my body." (For context, read 26:26-29.)
This verse is from Matthew's account of Jesus leading his disciples in the Passover meal, which was also the last time he would eat with them before his arrest and crucifixion. Jesus blesses the loaf and the cup and, in so doing, establishes a pattern of remembrance that became known as the Lord's Supper, Holy Communion or the Eucharist.
Since this particular meal had so much significance for the disciples then and continues to have significance for the church right to the present, we might think, "Well, of course, Jesus prayed at this meal. It was a special occasion. But that's no proof that he prayed at every meal, at ordinary meals." Perhaps not, but as a faithful Jew, prayer was a part of Jesus' life every day, and we can assume it was never far from any of his daily activities.
Questions: If circumstances make it difficult for you to pray before a meal, what other times do you take for communion with God? How can you pray without using words? In public, do you pray without bowing your head or moving your lips in order not to draw attention to yourself? Do you feel it is important to use outward signs of prayer as a form of witness?
Matthew 14:19-20
Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And all ate and were filled ... (For context, read 14:13-20.)
When Jesus fed the 5,000, starting with only five loaves and two fish, he first blessed the food, publicly, in front of the entire crowd. In Matthew's narration of this incident, the blessing and breaking of the loaves have eucharistic overtones.
Questions: When Jesus blessed the five loaves and two fish, was he praying for a miracle? If not, what do you think was the intent of his prayer? How does the fact that Matthew includes eucharistic overtones relate both to your idea of what communion is and to what every meal might be? Do you see a difference between communion and eating together with people we love? Do you see the miraculous in communion? In a meal that is shared?
Daniel 6:10
Although Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he continued to go to his house, which had windows in its upper room open toward Jerusalem, and to get down on his knees three times a day to pray to his God and praise him, just as he had done previously. (For context, read 6:1-17.)
Matthew 6:5-6
And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (For context, read 6:1-8.)
The Daniel text above tells of Daniel praying three times a day -- in his own house, but where he could clearly be seen by passersby -- as was his usual practice, even though praying to anyone but the king had just been outlawed.
In Matthew 6, Jesus tells his hearers to pray privately, with the door shut.
It's possible to read these two texts simplistically and view them as contradictory. But in fact, neither one of them is about praying in public per se.
Daniel's choice to continue praying where he could be seen despite the edict against praying to anyone but the king can be seen as both a witness to his faith and an act of faithfulness to God. Further, it served as an act of nonviolent resistance to this idolatrous edict.
Jesus wasn't saying "Never pray in public." He was saying "Don't pray to be seen by others and praised for false holiness." Perhaps, if asked, he might have added, "Wherever and whenever you pray, do so to glorify God, not yourself."
Writing about the Daniel incident, biblical commentator John E. Goldingay said, "When prayer is fashionable, it is time to pray in secret (Matthew 6:5-6), but when prayer is under pressure, to pray in secret is to give the appearance of fearing the king more than God ...." (Daniel, World Biblical Commentary, 131.)
Questions: Where is prayer fashionable in your life? Where is prayer under pressure in your life? When is it an act of loving God and loving your neighbor to pray in public? When is it a violation of love for God or love for neighbor, or both, to pray in public? Should we ever pray in public when we have not been invited to do so? What about praying privately, but visibly, in public?
Luke 24:30
When [Jesus] was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. (For context, read 24:13-31.)
Acts 27:35-36
After [Paul] had said this, he took bread; and giving thanks to God in the presence of all, he broke it and began to eat. Then all of them were encouraged and took food for themselves. (For context, read 27:27-37.)
The Luke 24 verse tells of the resurrected Jesus blessing bread while at a table with the two men he'd joined on the road to Emmaus. In blessing and breaking the bread, Jesus was not establishing the Lord's Supper, as he had already done in the upper room before his crucifixion. As far as the two men at the table were concerned, this was merely the start of an ordinary evening meal, but with a guest present, whom they had not recognized as Jesus in his post-resurrection state.
Jesus' act, however, becomes a moment of spiritual vision because, in that instant, these two disciples recognize him even as he vanishes from their sight. This meal was not Holy Communion as such, but their recognition that it was Jesus who was with them made this meal suddenly holy.
In the Acts reading, Paul blesses bread after urging his shipboard companions and crew, who've been fighting a storm, to eat to help them survive a soon-to-happen shipwreck. Under such circumstances, those on board hardly considered the occasion an ordinary meal, but neither did they likely view it as a religious event. In fact, they might have considered Paul a bit "loco" for taking time to pray in the middle of a deadly storm. Still, Paul, even under crisis conditions, gives thanks to God "in the presence of all."
Questions: Jesus' table prayer was private, with just those in the room with him. Paul's prayer was public, "in the presence of all." In what sense were both prayers expressions of gratitude to God? Do these examples from Jesus and Paul set a pattern for all Christians for every meal? Only for special occasions? Only for dangerous times? Why or why not? Is there a sense in which any meal -- even a hurried one in a fast-food eatery -- can be "suddenly holy"?
1 Thessalonians 5:17
... pray without ceasing ... (For context, read 5:12-22.)
This three-word instruction is part of a longer string of advice the apostle Paul wrote to the Christians at Thessalonica about how to live faithfully as Christ's followers.
Paul couldn't have meant that they should spend every minute kneeling in prayer. More likely he meant that prayer should be an ongoing part of who they were as followers of Jesus. They should cultivate the habit of offering the things of life to God in prayer even as they were going about their daily routine.
Questions: Can you pray while interacting with others? What constitutes ceaseless prayer? How do you focus on a prayer when there are so many distractions? In what ways do you practice prayer without ceasing? Is mealtime a good reminder to pray?
For Further Discussion
1. One TWW team member commented, "I would suggest that in the United States Christianity is not so much persecuted as ignored." How is that related to today's topic? What are the ramifications of that comment for us as Christians today?
2. Comment on this: There is a rabbinical saying that to not say grace, give thanks, is to deny God what is rightfully his.
3. Read 1 Corinthians 10:23-33, and then discuss Paul's words in verses 30-31: "If I partake with thankfulness, why should I be denounced because of that for which I give thanks? So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God."
4. What do you think of the order suggested by Deuteronomy 8:10 -- "You shall eat your fill and bless the LORD your God for the good land that he has given you" -- where you eat first and pray afterward?
5. Praying, publicly or privately, can be pushed aside by crises, busyness, boredom or laziness. Is that a problem? Are there times when prayer is appropriate, and times when it is not?
6. Exodus 14:15 says, "Then the LORD said to Moses, 'Why do you cry out to me? Tell the Israelites to go forward.'" Could God be telling Moses to stop praying and get moving?
Responding to the News
This can be a good time to think about where and when you pray, and in what ways your prayers at those times and in those place honor God and your neighbor.
Closing Prayer
Be present at our table, Lord;
Be here and everywhere adored;
Thy creatures bless, and grant that we
May feast in paradise with Thee.
We thank Thee, Lord, for this our food,
For life and health and every good;
By Thine own hand may we be fed;
Give us each day our daily bread.
But more because of Jesus' blood;
Let manna to our souls be giv'n,
The Bread of Life sent down from Heav'n.
--John Cennick (1718-1755)
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