Former four-star general David Petraeus, 60, who once ran
the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and who became director of the CIA after his
retirement from the military, resigned in disgrace from that position last week
after admitting an affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell, 40.
While extramarital affairs may be commonplace in Washington,
when one involves the nation's spy chief, concerns about possible breaches of
national security and access to classified information are immediate. There's
also concern about the possibility of blackmail when one's position and
reputation are at risk.
The liaison between Petraeus and Broadwell came to light
during an FBI investigation of anonymous harassing emails sent to another
woman, Jill Kelley, 37, along the lines of "stay away from my guy."
Kelley was a friend of the Petraeuses, but there's no known sexual link between
her and David Petraeus, who insists that his dalliance with Broadwell is his
only marital infidelity.
Kelley contacted the FBI about the threatening messages,
which that agency traced to Broadwell's laptop computer. In the process, agents
found messages between Broadwell and Petraeus that indicated the affair
involving the two of them.
In the same process, emails found between Kelley and General
John Allen, the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, raised questions about
possible inappropriate messages from Allen to Kelley, though both deny any
liaison with the other. Still, the questions have caused President Obama to put
Allen's nomination to become the NATO supreme allied commander on hold.
Broadwell, who, like Petraeus, is a West Point graduate, met
the then general in 2006 when he spoke at Harvard, where she was a grad
student. She later made him the topic of her dissertation, and eventually
turned that into a book. During her research, she benefited from what she
routinely described as "unprecedented access" to Petraeus (though the
term now sounds like a double entendre). She flew to Afghanistan to interview
him and stayed for months. Her book, called All In: The Education of General
David Petraeus, was published in January of this year.
Despite the time the two were together in Afghanistan, the
actual affair reportedly didn't begin until about two months after Petraeus
took leadership of the CIA in September 2011. It ended about four months ago,
by mutual decision, according to a Petraeus friend.
The affair has raised questions about whether Broadwell had
access to national security information she shouldn't have. Investigators have
now removed a computer and boxes of material from her home, but the results of
that are not yet known. There is no known national security breach connected to
Broadwell at this time.
Because Petraeus had been scheduled to testify before
Congress on the Benghazi attack and the government's response to it, some
lawmakers and others have speculated that the timing of Petraeus' departure was
linked to that. Because he has resigned, Petraeus won't testify as scheduled,
though he could be called to testify later.
The way in which the affair came to light has also added
fuel to the fire regarding online privacy. For more on this issue, see the New
York Times article in the links below.
Petraeus and his wife Holly have a daughter and a son.
Broadwell and her husband Scott have two sons. Reportedly, the story of the
affair broke while the Broadwells were on a romantic mini-vacation to a cozy
B&B. They left early.
While the adultery itself is a significant issue, as are
national security and online privacy, TWW team members have also identified the
following issues specific to the Petraeus-Broadwell infidelity:
1. Petraeus was faithful while in uniform, but once he left
his community of support (the Army), he drifted. We all need communities of
support.
2. His biographer worshiped him, and he no doubt found this
attention from an attractive woman intoxicating. Our value comes from being
children of God, not from the praise of others.
3. Many of Petraeus' Army colleagues are now saying
(anonymously) that they had concerns about his biographer, but either couldn't
or wouldn't voice their concerns. We all need to hear the unvarnished truth if
we are going to stay on the right path. Everyone needs an accountability
partner.
4. Under current U.S. law (the Stored Communications Act),
emails over six months old do not require a search warrant in order to be given
to law enforcement. Regardless of current law, however, nothing is hidden from
God, and our behavior ought to reflect that.
5. There are important boundaries leaders should maintain.
On the one side, the power differential and manipulation can work both ways,
and can be a way for the senior to gain personal favors or for the junior to
gain professional ones. On the flip side, the boundaries also mean that it's
harder for the senior to receive negative feedback or warnings.
More on this story can be found at these links:
The Big Questions
1. Have you ever engaged in behavior -- even if it was
something not considered wrong per se -- that could compromise your
effectiveness or have a negative impact on your Christian witness if it became
known? How did you handle that?
2. In terms of our spiritual lives, is it better to have our
secrets and sins known or left between ourselves and God? Should some be secret
and some not? How do you decide? Do you or should you always act as if what you
do is seen by someone? Have you ever had an embarrassing act, even if it was
innocuous, recorded or seen without your knowledge? What became of that
incident?
3. What behaviors have the potential to "spoil" us
for effective service to God, as the choices Petraeus made appear to have
destroyed his ability to serve the president and the nation going forward? With
the understanding that everyone is a sinner, what sins, or misdeeds, or
indiscretions disqualify a person for a particular job or task? What errors or
sins can a person get away with in your particular job or vocation?
4. What group or groups serve as spiritual support units for
you? How do they keep you from "drifting"? If you don't have such a
group, how do you go about finding one to join? In what ways can your church,
study group or Sunday school class provide accountability?
5. Where do you go to hear the "unvarnished truth"
about yourself? What enables you to consider it without rationalizing or being
defensive? When have you made a change in your behavior as a result of hearing
an uncomfortable assessment of your conduct?
Confronting the News With Scripture and Hope
Here are some Bible verses to guide your discussion:
2 Samuel 11:1
"In the spring of the year, the time when kings go
out to battle, David sent Joab with his officers and all Israel with him; they
ravaged the Ammonites, and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at
Jerusalem." (For context, read 11:1-27.)
The story of King David's adultery with Bathsheba is likely
the first text Bible readers think of when seeking a biblical example of
marital infidelity. But in the case of David Petraeus, the King David story
seems especially apt. The opening verse of the David-Bathsheba story, quoted
above, contains the line "But David remained at Jerusalem." In
previous military campaigns, David had gone with his troops, but this time, he
had not. He was isolated from his military comrades, away, if you will, from
his community of support, as was Petraeus after retirement from the armed
forces. King David now had time on his hands, and he got into trouble with
another man's wife. So, apparently, did the other David.
A member of the TWW team who's served in the military and
been on long deployments said, "The bit about support groups is spot on:
It is easier to resist temptation in a group than alone."
Questions: What conscious practices, besides being in
an accountability group, help you to resist temptations toward immoral
behavior?
The account of King David in 1 Chronicles, which was written
a few centuries later than the 2 Samuel account, includes nothing about
Bathsheba. Since the Chronicler seems to be aware of the older account, and
uses it as one of his sources, he apparently made the deliberate choice not to
include some of these sorts of incidents in the stories of David. Do you think
the Chronicler ignored David's sin because from his viewpoint a few centuries
later, they did not matter as much? Or do you think it might have been an
attempt to whitewash David's life story? Do you care as much about the sexual
indiscretions of, say, the Founding Fathers, as you do about those of recent
politicians, religious leaders and military leaders?
2 Samuel 12:7, 9
"Nathan said to David, 'You are the man! ...
Why have you despised the word of the LORD, to do what is evil in his
sight?'" (For context, read 12:1-23.)
Talk about hearing the unvarnished truth about oneself!
After King David's adultery with Bathsheba and his murder of Bathsheba's
husband, the prophet Nathan came to David with a tale about a rich man with
many sheep who stole the single lamb belonging to a poor man. David was
incensed and wanted to punish the rich man -- until Nathan suddenly told him,
"You are the man!" At that, David realized the story was a parable,
and that he was the thief who stole from another. David now knew the truth
about himself, and it was shameful. To his slight credit, he did not protest,
but eventually turned in worship to God (v. 20).
Our TWW team member who's served long military deployments
comments, "Trying to correct or warn a very senior officer -- especially
one with stars -- is difficult, not only due to the difference in rank, but due
to his isolation. 'The loneliness of command' is not a cliché ...."
Questions: Following the revelations regarding
Petraeus and Allen, there were those who seemed to place more focus on those
who reported these events, as if they were to blame somehow, or because for a
time, they knew and did not report. How difficult is it to choose between
discretion and revelation when one knows uncomfortable facts about another
person? How can one consult about the proper decision without widening the
circle of knowledge to the point where no secret can be kept?
Nathan as a prophet had to speak uncomfortable truths. Are
people really comfortable with a whistleblower, even a heavenly whistleblower?
Has there been an occasion when someone shared a truth about another person you
trusted, and you wished they hadn't? Have you ever found yourself in Nathan's
shoes? When have you had to speak uncomfortable truth to another? How did it
turn out? If you had to do it over, would you do it the same way? Why or why
not?
1 Samuel 18:7
"And the women sang to one another as they made
merry, 'Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands.'" (For
context, read 18:6-9.)
This is from an earlier time in King David's life, when he
was a successful general in the army of King Saul. The text tells us that the
women's hero worship made Saul jealous of David's accomplishments, but we
wonder what effect it had on David. Perhaps it was part of what shaped him to
feel later that he was entitled to take another man's wife.
Questions: How do you react when someone praises you
lavishly? What does it do for your ego? What is the best way to keep both feet
on the ground in the face of a great deal of praise? How do you keep praise
from feeding a sense that you are entitled to something others are not? Who do
you count on as a truth-teller?
Judges 16:15-17
"Then [Delilah] said to [Samson], 'How can you say,
"I love you," when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me
three times now and have not told me what makes your strength so great.'
Finally, after she had nagged him with her words day after day, and pestered
him, he was tired to death. So he told her his whole secret ..." (For
context, read 16:4-21.)
Concerns about security breaches and the eliciting of secret
information are not far-fetched when one partner in a sexual encounter holds
valuable information the other partner wants. Intimate relationships create a
huge incentive to bypass established safeguards and reveal things one should
not. While so far there's no evidence that such happened in the
Petraeus-Broadwell liaison, it certainly happened in the Samson-Delilah tryst,
and Samson paid a huge price, including imprisonment, blinding and, eventually,
death.
Question: What other potential safeguards are at risk
when one is intimate with someone besides one's spouse?
Titus 1:6
"An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one
wife ..." (For context, read 1:5-9.)
Paul had left his coworker Titus in Crete to oversee the
growth of the churches there. One of Titus' duties was to "appoint elders
in every town" (v. 5). Paul then lists the qualifications Titus should
look for when appointing elders, including that the man be "husband of but
one wife." The version above, from the NIV, is faithful to the underlying
Greek, but it's probably not so much a warning against choosing polygamists as
against choosing adulterers. The Common English Bible words this verse as
"Elders ... should be faithful to their spouse." In either case,
however, the elder "must be blameless."
One TWW team member says, "Perhaps Paul's guidance to
Titus that [an elder] should be 'the husband of one wife' was to ensure that he
had an intimate source of feedback who could warn him of dangerous tendencies.
Wives can be good at that -- and so, I presume, can husbands!"
Questions: Do you consider honest assessments of
yourself a benefit of marriage? Why or why not? Comedians joke about how
husbands and wives don't always want to answer questions from their spouse
truthfully -- the classic, "Does this dress make me look fat?" or
"That was a great presentation, wasn't it?" kind of questions. Do you
and your spouse or another close confidant, really tell the truth to each
other? Would you rather not have to answer such questions? When you call someone
to leadership in the church, whether it is a pastor, a board chair, a choir
director or another position, do you and others consider that person's spouse
or lack of spouse; when making a decision? Ought you?
For Further Discussion
1. Respond to this, from a TWW team member: "Our sins
don't affect just us -- or even just us and the one or two others we have
directly sinned against. For example, in a congregation I served, two couples
became entangled in adultery; the wife of one pair and the husband of the other
pair had an affair. Not unsurprisingly, it led to much sorrow and brokenness
among the two families (each of which included young children). But the reach
of what we often think of as a private sin extended to the entire congregation
and small-town community. At first, both couples actively avoided each other --
which was difficult because they had children in the same community and church
activities. The women had both taught Sunday school; the men had ushered
together. Now, those co-ministries were lost. Eventually, not one, but both
families left the congregation -- one temporarily, the other for good. In a
small congregation, when you lose two or four active members, and three or five
young children, there is a noticeable void; more than anything, of course, we
mourned the loss of the individuals themselves, but we also felt the absence of
their ministries among us. The adultery of two, as it turned out, had affected
100 or more."
2. Comment on this, from a TWW team member: "Many
laypeople, in my experience, don't really understand why pastors and other
professionals/leaders need to maintain certain boundaries. Perhaps they do not
fully grasp the power differential and how supposedly consensual sex between
two adults can, in fact, be the result of subtle coercion/manipulation, or how
-- on the more benign side of things -- even if a relationship or close
friendship or such emerges between a leader and another and seems to be
healthy, should that relationship deteriorate, the leader/professional does indeed
stand to lose much in terms of reputation, integrity and ability to perform
his/her duties effectively."
Comment on this, from CNN columnist Frida Ghitis: "[One
lesson from the Petraeus scandal is that] powerful men, no matter how brilliant
and accomplished, can suffer from a form of temporary insanity caused by the
interaction of arrogance and libido." (From her column, 5
Things We've Learned From Petraeus Scandal. CNN)
3. In what way does the resulting publicity and focus on
stories such as the Petraeus-Broadwell affair distract from the investigation
of and reporting about more serious incidents? What can you do in order not to
be distracted?
4. Acts 1:24 says, "Lord, you know everyone's heart.
..." How does that apply to today's lesson?
5. In terms of adulterous relationships, in what ways are
the following two statements excuses or stereotypes? "It's the guy's
responsibility." "The woman seduced him."
Responding to the News
We live in a highly sexualized culture. It's always important,
nonetheless, to teach in our church that marital faithfulness is not simply an
expectation for those belonging to the Christian counter-culture, but is also
the most healthy arrangement for all married persons.
Closing Prayer
Help us, O Lord, not to be persuaded by our sexualized
culture that we are missing out on something by being faithful in our marriages
and to the other vows we have made. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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