Thursday, November 19, 2015

'You Will Not Have My Hatred,' Husband of Paris Victim Tells ISIS


© 2015 The Wired Word
www.thewiredword.com
"These are the times that try men's souls," Thomas Paine famously wrote in 1776. He was writing about a different time and different troubles than those faced in Paris last week, but his words couldn't be more applicable.
And this week, Antoine Leiris, the husband of one of the 129 people killed by ISIS terrorists, showed the depth of his soul when he put a post on his Facebook page titled, "You will not have my hatred."
Leiris was addressing ISIS. His post is in French, but in translation, it begins, "Friday night you stole the life of an exceptional being, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you will not have my hatred. I do not know who you are and I do not want to know; you are dead souls. If God, for which you kill blindly, made us in his image, every bullet in the body of my wife has been a wound in his heart."
Leiris continued, "So I will not give you the privilege of hating you. You certainly sought it, but replying to hatred with anger would be giving in to the same ignorance which made you into what you are. You want me to be frightened, that I should look into the eyes of my fellow citizens with distrust, that I sacrifice my freedom for security. You lost. I will carry on as before."
"I saw her this morning," Leiris said of his wife Helene. "Finally, after nights and days of waiting. She was as beautiful as when she left on Friday evening, as beautiful as when I fell madly in love with her more than 12 years ago. I am of course devastated by heartbreak, I'll cede you that little victory, but it will be short-lived. I know that she will be with us every day and that we will meet again in a paradise of free souls to which you will never have access."
Leiris closed by promising to raise his son happy and free: "There are only two of us, my son and I, but we are stronger than all the armies of the world. Moreover, I have no more time to grant you, I must go to Melvil who is waking up from his nap. He is just 17 months old. He will eat his snack like he does every day, then we will play like we do every day and every day of his life this little boy will affront you by being happy and free. Because you will not have his hatred either."
Leiris' post has been viewed thousands of times, and many people have responded with comments on his page showing how deeply touched they are by his words. For example, respondent Jaime Henry Sinift wrote, "My thoughts are with you and sweet Melvil. Helene would be proud of your response and courage."
We suspect that God is pleased with Leiris' response as well.
More on this story can be found at these links:

You Will Not Have My Hatred. Antoine Leiris on Facebook  (Original post is in French. Select the "translate" option in Facebook for a machine translation of the post. The CNN article below includes a better translation.)

Applying the News Story
We don't have any information about Leiris' religious faith, though we gather from his words about meeting his wife again in paradise that he's not an atheist. And his response about not hating gives evidence of the spirit of Christ's words in Matthew 5:43-45: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven ...."
Leiris' response also brings to mind one of the responses after a gunman shot 10 Amish girls ages 6-14 execution-style in the Nickel Mines schoolhouse in 2006. On the very day of the shooting, the Amish grandfather of one of the slain girls told the members of his community in reference to the killer, "We must not hate this man."
In terms of our own lives, if we take our Christian faith seriously, then not hating belongs in the bedrock our response when faced with painful loss caused by others.
TWW team member Joanna Loucky-Ramsey comments, "We need to be reminded that hating is not only an emotional response, but a proactive choice, an act of the will. Its corollary is also true, that loving is also more than an emotion over which we have no control; it is a decision, an action, a behavior we live out. 'To hate or not to hate, that is the question.'"
The Big Questions
1. Is the Sermon on the Mount an ideal or an order? What does it mean for daily life to take Jesus' teachings in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) seriously? How might your life be different if you continually measured your actions against the Sermon on the Mount? How might the world be different? Is it reasonable to expect Christians to live by the Sermon on the Mount?
2. How do you define hatred? Is there more than one definition? What is the difference, if any, between not hating and loving? Which emotion involves more passion -- loving or hating? In what personal circumstances should not hating be consciously applied?
3. How are not hating and healing related? Is it possible to fully recover from a great wrong inflicted on you while hating the perpetrator(s)? Does not hating preclude seeking punishment of the wrongdoer(s)? Why or why not?
4. To what extent can not hating lead to pardon and reconciliation? Can one be reconciled with someone who is hate-filled?
5. What should be the attitude of Christians toward persons who perpetrated the Paris crimes? How well does your answer match what your attitude actually is toward these perpetrators?

Confronting the News With Scripture and Hope
Here are some Bible verses to guide your discussion:


Jeremiah 8:21
For the hurt of my poor people I am hurt, I mourn, and dismay has taken hold of me. (For context, read 8:18--9:1.)
Psalm 69:1-3
Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying .... (No additional context needed.)

Jeremiah 8:18--9:1 is part of a personal lament by the prophet Jeremiah over the sad plight falling on his fellow Judeans. Their nation was about to fall to the Babylonians, and God had told Jeremiah of what would follow -- the exile of many of the citizens of Jerusalem. The prophet was so filled with grief that he didn't know what to say. "My heart is sick" (v. 18) was about all he could manage.
Psalm 69 is also a lament, though it doesn't identify the circumstances that caused the pain. Whatever it was, when we are in deep pain, we can no doubt identify with the psalm's words of despair.
Incidents such as the Paris attacks fill many of us with a similar heartsickness and the sense that we don't know what to say. Why is our world as it is? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why didn't God intervene and stop these killers? Why, after Jesus was born, didn't God stop Herod from killing the infants? There are times when words fail us, and sometimes the best we can stammer out is "I don't know."
Today's news, and Jesus' Sermon on the Mount text quoted in the "Applying the News Story" above, suggest an additional response: "I will not let hatred master me."
Questions: Some people are convinced that everything that happens, good or bad, is part of God's plan and that we simply cannot see the big picture God sees. Do you find that a convincing argument or not? Explain your answer. Is an explanation of God's ways necessary for faith to carry us? Why or why not?

Psalm 137:8
O daughter Babylon, you devastator! Happy shall they be who pay you back what you have done to us! (For context, read 137:1-9.)

This psalm, which is a lament about Jerusalem being destroyed by the Babylonians and its people being exiled in Babylon, includes this very natural reaction: the hope that someone would pay back the oppressors "for what you have done to us!"
In the case of the Paris attacks, the French government has already begun certain "payback" moves, including the bombing of ISIS targets, though it's probable that the moves are more than mere vengeance; they are likely aimed at so crippling ISIS as to reduce its ability to launch future attacks -- or teaching ISIS that the cost of attacking France will be so high as to cause them not to attack again.
Questions: Are governmental responses to terrorism matters of hate? If not, what are they? How do you reconcile the admonition to "overcome evil with good" with the satisfaction of repaying someone for "what has been done to us"? Do you struggle with this problem, or do you ignore it? What might be some of the thoughts and positions used in discussions on this matter? Try to include thoughts and positions that you personally do not hold, in such a way that they are made as thoughtful and with as good intentions as you ascribe to yourself.

Psalm 97:10 
The LORD loves those who hate evil; he guards the lives of his faithful; he rescues them from the hand of the wicked. (For context, read 97:10-12.)
Luke 14:26
Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. (For context, read 14:25-33.)
Romans 12:9 
Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good .... (For context, read 12:9-21.)

Here are three Bible verses that use the word "hate" in ways that are clearly deemed not only acceptable, but even desirable.
In Psalm 97:10, the Hebrew word rendered in English as "hate" covers emotion ranging from "bitter disdain" to outright "hatred." It means to hate personally, and it's related to words meaning "enemy" and "odious." And while here the object of that hate is the impersonal "evil," the same Hebrew word is used elsewhere in the Old Testament to indicate hatred toward a person, though not necessarily as a desirable response (see, for example, Genesis 37:8). However, the word is also used at least once in the Old Testament to name an attitude of God in a particular situation (Malachi 1:3).
In Luke 14:26, which is quoting Jesus, "hate" is rendering a Greek word that means "to love less" -- that is, to have relative preference for one thing over another. We don't usually use the word "hate" with this meaning in our speech today. The Message paraphrases this verse to read, "Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters -- yes, even one's own self! -- can't be my disciple."
In Romans 12:9, "hate" is translating another Greek word that means "detest" or "abhor" or "loathe." As the apostle Paul uses it here, he is directing it toward the impersonal "what," not a personal "who."
"Hate," then, is something that cannot be condemned in its own right, without context. But in Leiris' context, not hating seems a godly thing.
Questions: Is it even possible to hate evil without also hating the perpetrators of that evil? In what contexts might hatred be appropriate? When is it sinful?

Romans 12:20-21 
No, "if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (For context, read 12:9-21.)

Here the apostle Paul urges overcoming evil with good, rather than repaying evil with evil. It is about loving one's enemy rather than exhibiting hatred. We don't have control over the other's response, but we do over our own.
In referring to heaping burning coals on an enemy's head, Paul is quoting Proverbs 25:21-22. TWW team member Doug Hargis comments, "The burning coals should not be understood as an evil thing, for we are told in the next line to overcome evil with good. Rather it needs to be understood against the backdrop of Isaiah 6:5-7. Isaiah confesses that he is a man of 'unclean lips.' A seraph then uses tongs to take a live coal from the altar. He touches Isaiah's unclean lips with it and declares, 'Now that this has touched your lips, your guilt has departed and your sin is blotted out.' The coal destroys the guilt and the sin, not the person." Paul is indicating that the food and water we give can function as the sanctifying coal.
Questions: How can the biblical command to overcome evil with good be applied to situations such as the violent crimes in Paris? In what ways does a national response to the evil deeds need to differ from personal responses such as the one from Leiris? Can a response based on the teachings of Jesus seem weak to haters?

Matthew 5:4 (NRSV) 
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (For context, read 5:1-12.)
Matthew 5:4 (GNT)
Happy are those who mourn; God will comfort them!

We've quoted this beatitude from both the New Revised Standard Version and the Good News Translation to show that the first word of the beatitude, which in the original Greek is makarios, can be translated into English as either "blessed" or "happy." But we really need both of the English words to capture the meaning of makarios. To understand what the Bible means by that word, we have to think of both "happy" (the feeling of satisfaction) and "blessed" (God's favor) together.
We doubt that any who are mourning loved ones killed in the Paris attacks would use the word "happy" to describe themselves right now, but we suspect that "blessed" is an adjective that, in its sense of God's favor, does apply. People like Leiris who can say "I will not hate" are blessed by God even as they mourn.
Questions: In what ways have you experienced makarios in times of grief? Did the makarios moment seem like a blessing at the time? In retrospect?
For Further Discussion
1. In terms of our grieving with those who grieve, do you feel the pain of people who've lost loved ones to terrorism in Baghdad and Paris equally? Explain your answer.
2. Read this article -- Where Is God: Grace the Morning After Paris -- to your class and invite members to respond.
3. How can we promote the gospel's call to love our neighbor and live at peace with others in a culture in which some people believe their goals trump such qualities and justify terrorism?
4. To whom, for the good of your own soul, might you need to say, "I do not hate you"? Who needs to hear it from you? What is your definition of loving your enemies? Is this love different from the love you show your family? If so, how/why? Who do you suspect needs to say to you, "I do not hate you"?
Responding to the News
As TWW team member Joanna Loucky-Ramsey said in the "Applying the News Story" section above, "hating is not only an emotional response, but a proactive choice, an act of the will." This is a good time to remind ourselves of that and decide how to invite God into our choices about how we respond to others.
Closing Prayer
O God, we pray for your comfort for those who have lost loved ones in the violence of the past weeks, both in Paris and elsewhere. We ask that you help us as a nation to find whatever means we can to reduce or eliminate such events. And help us each to practice the not-hating to which the gospel calls us. In Jesus' name. Amen.

No comments:

Post a Comment