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An agnostic believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God. Humanism is a system of thought that centers on humans and their values, capacities and worth.
While the conversation was a private family matter, Bart Campolo's "deconversion" made news earlier this month when he became the humanist chaplain at the University of Southern California, one of only a few such positions on U.S. campuses. (USC has chaplains representing 90 religious and spiritual traditions, but Bart Campolo is that school's first humanist chaplain.)
Tony Campolo is a sociologist and Baptist pastor who, though considered "progressive" on social and political issues, describes himself as "evangelical" in theology. He says that the conversation in which his son "came out" to him as a humanist was "upsetting" and "traumatic," but according to Bart, his father said, "You know me. I am not afraid you're going to hell because the God I believe in doesn't send people to hell for eternity for having the wrong theology. I'm sad because Christianity is my tribe, and I liked having you in my tribe."
The elder Campolo has since said, "I leave judgments in the hands of God. I don't know what's going on in Bart's heart or mind or soul. I have faith in God, and I have faith in prayer, and I have confidence that this thing is not over until it's over."
Despite their theological differences, the father and son remain close.
Bart, who accepted Christ during his high school years, says that even then, he was not drawn by Christian theology, but by the sense of community and the shared commitment to love people, promote justice and change the world.
Bart became a pastor and was involved in inner-city ministry, but he says his movement away from the Christian faith occurred in stages. "It wasn't until I exhausted every option for staying a Christian that I gave it up," he said. "My Christianity had died the death of a thousand nicks and cuts."
Commentator Rob Asghar, writing in Forbes about the younger Campolo's move from Christianity to humanism, said, "In one sense, he is the same person he has always been, fighting for the welfare of the sick and the poor. But he is now agnostic, in stark contrast to his legendary father."
Asghar added, "In his new role, [Bart Campolo] will offer encouragement to many like-minded people seeking meaning and purpose; and he will outrage or scare the pants off millions of people with whom he no longer shares a religious identity."
While Bart now acknowledges his agnosticism, he says he has little in common with angry, militant atheists who belittle religion and mock those who are religious. He said he wants to create a hopeful humanist community that even Christians will be able to see as valuable. He calls it "a church for people who don't believe in God."
"One thing I learned from Jesus was that if you want to gain your life, you have to lose it for the sake of the gospel," Bart said. "I may have a different gospel now, but I want to give my life to it. I still have good news to share."
Tony and Bart are now coauthoring a book, tentatively titled, A Painful Dialogue Between an Evangelical Father and His Agnostic Son.
More on this story can be found at these links:
Tony Campolo's Surprise Reaction When His Son Came Out as a Humanist. Religion News Service
Bart Campolo's Heretical -- and Liberating -- Leadership Journey. Forbes
On Bart Campolo's Deconversion ... and Why We Can't Blame His Father. Christianity Today (may need subscription to view this article)
The Big Questions
1. When a grown child of Christian parents leaves the faith, who's responsible? Are the parents in any sense to blame? Why or why not?
2. What sort of relationship ought Christian parents and their grown child have after the child has renounced the faith? Why? When a family member or someone else we love leaves the faith, what sort of conversation should we try to have with them? Why?
3. Campolo Sr. describes himself and his son as being of "different tribes" rather than facing different eternal destinies. Campolo Jr. talks about a "church" of people who still are pretty much like he always was, but without believing in God. What do you think is the difference between renouncing the faith and joining another "tribe" or group with the same basic value system but without belief in God?
4. What part of your own testimony or experience might it be good to share with a grown child who is no longer persuaded by the Christian faith?
5. If you've ever departed from the faith, how did your parents react? How did you approach your parents to say you were not going to be a part of their church, if that is what you did? How did members of your family approach you? What is the right way, in your opinion, to share this information? What is the wrong way?
Confronting the News With Scripture and Hope
Here are some Bible verses to guide your discussion:
Judges 13:8
Then Manoah entreated the LORD, and said, "O LORD, I pray, let the man of God whom you sent come to us again and teach us what we are to do concerning the boy who will be born." (For context, read 13:2-25.)
Manoah was the father of Samson. Before Samson was conceived, an angel announced to Manoah that his wife, though barren, would bear a son. The verse above records Manoah's response, where he prayerfully asks God for help, that he and his wife might know how to best parent "the boy who will be born."
According to God's instruction, Manoah raised Samson as a "nazirite to God" (v. 5). That means the child was especially consecrated to God's service with a vow involving certain requirements for a wholesome lifestyle. Apparently, Manoah and his wife did everything in their power to see that their son was brought up right, but when Samson was old enough to leave home, he brought grief upon grief to his parents. First, he chose a wife outside of his parents' faith, a Philistine woman, causing his parents to lament, "Is there not a woman among your kin, or among all our people, that you must go to take a wife from the ... Philistines?" (14:3). And after that marriage broke up, Samson ran around for a time with a prostitute in Gaza. Later still, he took up with another woman outside the faith of his parents, Delilah, and we all know that story and how she contributed to his downfall. Imagine how heartsick Manoah and his wife felt about all of this.
Questions: Who was to blame for Samson's choices? What influences did Samson experience over which his parents had no control? What do you think led to the decisions he made about how he would live his life? Is it appropriate for parents to blame themselves for decisions their children make regarding what to believe or how to live?
Proverbs 22:6
Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray. (For context, read 22:5-6.)
Ephesians 6:4
And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (For context, read 6:1-4.)
The proverb above may induce guilt in good parents whose children either leave the faith of their parents or never embrace it to begin with, but we should note that a proverb is only an attempt to state what is usually true. It can't cover every situation, but can suggest a path built on past experience and hope for the future.
There are many cases where, as Paul advised the Ephesian Christians, parents have brought their children "up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" -- where they have set good Christian examples, have taken their kids to church, have spoken freely in their home about their faith and have prayed with and for their children -- and yet, they've still had one or more of their offspring not continue in the Christian faith.
Note that Paul, unlike the proverb, doesn't promise any specific outcome from instructing the kids in the Lord.
Questions: Do you think "the right way" mentioned in the proverb is a set of beliefs, a manner of behaving, both or something else? Why? If this proverb is not a guarantee, what use should we make of it?
Hebrews 3:14
For we have become partners of Christ, if only we hold our first confidence firm to the end. (For context, read 3:12-19.)
In 3:12-19, the writer of Hebrews discusses the matter of apostasy, though that word is not used in this passage. As applied to religion, apostasy means "abandonment of one's religious faith." There's no implied judgment in that dictionary definition, but in the Bible, references to apostasy, whether that actual term is used or not, are never judgment-neutral. (Nor is the old church term "backslider" or the more recent church term "inactive.")
In this passage for example, in verse 12, the Hebrews author says, "Take care, brothers and sisters, that none of you may have an evil, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God" (italics added). Yet when we apply the subject of apostasy to one of our own offspring who no longer believes in Christ but who remains a loving child, it's hard to label them "evil." However, the writer of Hebrews is using "evil" not in the sense of a value judgment about the person, but to characterize the outcome of disbelief, which the writer sees as eventual separation from God, a ruinous outcome.
Tony Campolo does not appear to be calling Bart evil, and Bart continues to work for justice and fairness for others and serve in selfless ways. But orthodox Christianity would say Bart's disbelief has an ultimate outcome that cannot be called good.
The fact is, some of our offspring may have failed to "hold [their] first confidence [in God and Christ] firm" to the present day, as the author of Hebrews calls for in verse 14 above. And while calling their change "evil" to their face may do neither them nor our relationship with them any good, it is worthwhile to realize that Christianity considers unbelief or "deconversion" a serious topic with eternal implications.
Questions: In 2 Thessalonians 2:3, the New Testament does use the Greek word apostasia, from which "apostasy" comes. The New American Standard Bible does translate apostasia in that verse as "apostasy," while the NRSV and the NIV render it "rebellion," and the KJV translates it as "falling away." What word might you use to characterize an "unbelieving heart" in someone who is a good person nonetheless? Is unbelief itself evil? Is being "a good person" adequate in God's judgment?
2 Timothy 1:5
I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that lived first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, lives in you. (For context, read 1:2-7.)
The apostle Paul was correct when he assumed that Timothy held the faith that both his grandmother and his mother held, but this verse reminded TWW team member Stan Purdum of an incident from his youth.
Stan explains, "I went one day with my father, who was a minister, to pick up some supplies for a church event. After we made the purchases, an employee at the store helped us load our station wagon. At one point, he said to me, 'Since your father is a minister, you must find it easier to be a Christian than the rest of us do.' I think I looked at him with a dumb expression on my face, and finally said something like, 'No, who my father is doesn't make it any easier for me.' The man appeared unconvinced, however, and said, 'I bet it does.'"
Stan continues, "Having lived a long time since then, I'm convinced my answer was correct. But it interests me that this man thought that somehow, clergy parentage gave me some kind of 'in' with God. My parents did have a lot to do with why I'm a Christian today, but I don't think they made my journey to belief a sure thing."
Questions: In what ways does your faith resemble your parents' faith? In what ways is it different? How well do you feel you were equipped for growing into the faith you have now? Who were your most influential mentors?
Do you and your children, or other members of your immediate family, share the same faith? The same denomination? The same political party and outlook? Do you root for the same sports teams? How do you and your family respond when there is a marked difference in outlook and even practice?
How well do conversations go among family members with very different outlooks on matters of faith? Is it, in your experience, possible for people to talk openly and honestly with regard to these issues?
For Further Discussion
1. Discuss this, from TWW team member Frank Purvis: "As a father of three, my greatest prayer has been that our children would always be faithful to Christ and active in church. As a pastor, I have had to encourage parents of adult children when their family walked away from the faith. When our son Carlisle died in an automobile accident in 2008, it was a great comfort to us that he was a believer and was active in church and that at his funeral, we could sing his favorite hymn. He was not perfect as neither are his parents, but I know he left this life believing in Christ Jesus."
2. Reflect on Tony Campolo's statement "and I have confidence that this thing is not over until it's over." When is it over?
3. Comment on this, from TWW team member Liz Antonson: "There are several of my friends whose adult children have departed from the Christian faith. Some are merely 'unchurched.' Some are bitterly and verbally rejecting [of the faith]. Some have adopted other belief systems (often with features that seem to be designed to upset the parents). These friends are retired pastors, and all of them are not only grieved by the departure from the faith of their children but suffer regrets from the self-knowledge that they were far too unbalanced in the ways they expressed their love and devotion, due to the amount of time they devoted to their work -- over-investment in the global ministry of the gospel and an under-investment in the ministry of family. In some cases, their children have expressed their sense of loss and resentment from living with their ministry-dedicated parents.
"As a counselor, I have met many young adults in psychotherapy sessions who have not only failed to embrace the faith of their parents but [who] carry a huge amount of hurt and anger from experiencing benign neglect by a pastor-father/mother or missionary parents. Working on the need to forgive the parents in order to be free of depression and/or dysfunction was a lot easier for them than considering reconciling with Christian belief."
4. In your experience, does it matter if parents have an active faith and encourage their children's participation in church when it comes to their children remaining in the faith? Talk about instances where individuals (including yourself) have become active in church even though their parents did not set any example of this sort.
5. What do you make of Bart's statement "I may have a different gospel now, but I want to give my life to it. I still have good news to share"?
6. Print out the article "Tony Campolo's Surprise Reaction When His Son Came Out as a Humanist" (also included in the links above) and read aloud to the class the nine short paragraphs beginning with "His first step away from orthodoxy occurred ..." (End with "I don't believe in eternal life in that way anymore.")
Then invite your class to decide what they'd like to say to Bart (or to one of their own loved ones who might now believe as Bart does) in response.
Then discuss that response.
Responding to the News
It's almost always a good time to remind your family members, even those who don't share your faith, that you love them and pray for good things for them.
Closing Prayer
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